Sibling Rivalry 101: How to Help Your Kids Get Along

If you’ve ever had to break up a fight over who gets the blue cup—or listened to your kids argue about who had more screen time—you know sibling rivalry is real.

It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. And some days, it feels like they’ll never get along.

But here’s the good news: conflict between siblings is normal—and it can even help children develop important skills like negotiation, empathy, and problem-solving. The challenge is guiding them so the rivalry doesn’t turn into resentment.

Learning how to help siblings get along isn’t about eliminating disagreements altogether—it’s about giving your children the tools to manage conflict in a healthy way and build a stronger bond over time.

How do you fix a bad sibling relationship?

If your kids are stuck in a pattern of constant bickering, competition, or even avoidance, it can feel like nothing will ever change. But repairing and strengthening their relationship is possible—especially when you approach it with patience and consistency.

Here are some strategies for how to help siblings get along when things feel tense:

1. Model the behaviour you want to see

Kids learn more from watching you than from any lecture. If they see you handle disagreements calmly and respectfully, they’ll be more likely to follow suit. Show them how to listen, apologise, and compromise.

2. Avoid comparisons

Comments like “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” can deepen rivalry. Instead, celebrate each child’s strengths and make sure they feel equally valued for who they are.

3. Give them one-on-one time

Sometimes sibling rivalry flares up because one child feels overlooked. Spending individual time with each child can ease feelings of competition and help them feel secure in their place in the family.

4. Teach conflict resolution skills

Show your kids step-by-step how to express their feelings, listen to the other person, and find a solution that works for both. These skills will help them in every relationship they have—not just with their siblings.

5. Encourage teamwork

Set up activities that require cooperation, like cooking a meal together, building a fort, or planning a family game night. These moments can strengthen their bond and make them feel like they’re on the same side.

The more you focus on how to help siblings get along through shared experiences and mutual respect, the more likely you’ll see lasting change.

What is the triangle method for sibling fights?

The “triangle method” is a simple but powerful way to guide siblings through a disagreement without taking sides or escalating tension. It’s a favourite among many parenting coaches and therapists because it teaches kids to solve problems themselves—with your support.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Separate and cool down

Before you dive into solving the problem, help each child calm their emotions. This might mean taking a few deep breaths, having some quiet time, or holding onto a comfort object.

Step 2: The triangle conversation

Picture a triangle with three points:

• Child A’s turn to speak – They share their feelings and perspective without interruption.
  
  
• Child B’s turn to speak – They share their feelings and perspective without interruption.
  
  
• Parent’s role – You stand at the third point of the triangle, acting as the neutral guide, helping both sides feel heard and encouraging respectful dialogue.

Step 3: Find a solution together

Once both kids have had their say, ask them what they think would be a fair resolution. Offer guidance if needed, but let them lead.

This method works because it takes you out of the “referee” role and puts responsibility back in your children’s hands. And when you consistently use the triangle method, it becomes a natural part of how to help siblings get along in everyday life.

Why learning how to help siblings get along matters

Sibling relationships are often the longest relationships a person will have in their lifetime. The way your children learn to treat each other now sets the tone for how they’ll connect as adults.

By focusing on how to help siblings get along, you’re not just preventing household drama—you’re giving your children:

• The ability to resolve conflict without damaging relationships
  
  
• A deeper sense of empathy and understanding for others
  
  
• The security of knowing they can rely on each other, even in tough times

Even if your kids seem miles apart right now, small changes in how you guide them can make a big difference in the long run.

Final thoughts: Patience, practice, and perspective

Helping your kids get along is a long game. 

There will still be arguments. There will still be eye rolls. But over time, the skills you’re teaching them will help them navigate not just sibling relationships, but friendships, romantic relationships, and even workplace dynamics.

Remember: how to help siblings get along starts with creating a home where each child feels valued, heard, and supported. With your guidance—and a few practical tools like the triangle method—you can help transform rivalry into respect.

And who knows? One day, the same kids fighting over the blue cup might be laughing together at the dinner table, grateful they had a sibling to grow up with.