Relationships are a beautiful part of life, offering us connection, support, and a whole lot of laughter (hopefully!). 

But sometimes, things can get a little confusing. Maybe a friend keeps overstepping boundaries, or a partner’s behavior just doesn’t sit right with you. That’s where boundaries and dealbreakers come in – your personal guideposts for navigating healthy relationships.

This blog is here to be your cheerleader, offering understanding and guidance as you explore these concepts.

Let’s dive into some questions you might be wondering about:

What Exactly Are Boundaries? 

Boundaries can feel like a bit of a mystery – an invisible force field protecting our inner world. 

Here’s a breakdown to help you understand boundaries and how they play a vital role in healthy relationships:

  • Think of them as gentle fences, not walls: Boundaries aren’t meant to shut people out completely; they’re more like guidelines that create a safe space for you. Imagine a beautiful garden – a fence protects the flowers without blocking the sunshine. Boundaries allow healthy connections to flourish while keeping out negativity.
  • Respecting your time and energy: Boundaries are your way of saying “yes” to the things that nourish you and “no” to the things that drain you. Maybe you need some quiet “me time” to recharge after work, or perhaps you need weekends free for family time. Boundaries help communicate these needs and protect your precious time and energy.
  • Creating healthy communication: Boundaries are all about clear communication. By expressing your needs and expectations, you can avoid resentment and frustration. For example, a boundary might be letting your friend know you prefer texts over late-night calls.
  • Protecting your emotional well-being: Boundaries help shield you from negativity and disrespect. Maybe you have a zero-tolerance policy for gossip or drama. Boundaries allow you to walk away from situations that drain your emotional well-being.
  • Honoring your values: We all hold certain values dear, and boundaries help ensure your relationships align with those values. Perhaps honesty is a core value for you; a boundary might be refusing to participate in activities that compromise your integrity.

Remember, boundaries are a personal roadmap, unique to you and your needs. 

They’re not about being rigid or controlling; they’re about self-care and building strong, healthy connections. The more comfortable you become setting boundaries, the better equipped you are to create fulfilling and respectful relationships.

Am I Being Too Picky? Understanding Dealbreakers 

We’ve all been there – swiping through dating profiles or pondering a friend’s behavior, wondering, “Am I being too picky?” 

When it comes to dealbreakers, the answer is a resounding no. These aren’t petty preferences; they’re your fundamental values and needs in a relationship.

Here’s a deeper dive into understanding dealbreakers:

  • Your Values as a Compass: Imagine your values as a compass guiding you through life. Dealbreakers are those big, non-negotiable qualities that align with your core values. Maybe you crave a partner who prioritizes family just as much as you do, or perhaps honesty is a dealbreaker because trust is paramount in your relationships. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to dealbreakers – they’re unique to you.
  • Respecting Your Needs: Dealbreakers are often rooted in your deepest needs. For example, if you have a strong desire for a smoke-free lifestyle, having a partner who smokes indoors would likely be a dealbreaker. It’s about prioritizing your well-being and ensuring your needs are met within the relationship.
  • Compatibility for the Long Haul: Think of dealbreakers as filters, helping you find someone compatible for a long-lasting relationship. While some things can be compromised on, dealbreakers are those core aspects that, if ignored, can lead to resentment and incompatibility down the line.
  • Beyond Romance: Dealbreakers aren’t just for romantic relationships! They apply to friendships and even family dynamics. Maybe a dealbreaker for a friend is someone who constantly cancels plans, or perhaps disrespect towards your family is a non-negotiable boundary.
  • Evolving With You: Just like you and your values may evolve over time, so too can your dealbreakers. The things that were non-negotiable in your twenties might shift as you mature and your priorities change. The key is to stay true to yourself and what matters most to you at each stage of life.

Remember, having dealbreakers isn’t about being picky; it’s about self-awareness and prioritizing healthy relationships. 

By honoring your dealbreakers, you open the door to connections that are fulfilling, respectful, and aligned with your values.

Do Boundaries Change Over Time? 

Absolutely! Life is a journey, and our needs and wants evolve with us. The boundaries you set in your twenties might look different in your thirties. 

The important thing is to be honest with yourself and communicate your evolving needs in your relationships.

How Can I Communicate My Boundaries With Confidence?

Communication is key! 

Think of setting boundaries like having a heart-to-heart with a friend. Use “I” statements to express how someone’s behavior makes you feel, and be clear and honest about your expectations.

Boundaries are important, but they’re not always easy. 

If someone repeatedly disrespects your boundaries or refuses to compromise, it might be time to prioritize your well-being and walk away. 


You deserve healthy relationships that uplift and support you.

Boundaries and dealbreakers aren’t about being cold or uncaring; they’re about self-care and building strong connections. 

By setting boundaries and recognizing your dealbreakers, you’ll attract and nurture relationships that make you feel loved and respected. 

So grab a cup of tea, get comfy, and let’s explore this journey of healthy relationships together! You deserve it!

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